'What love really stand for?',in the early mid night again for me to wrote the blog here to describe or speak out my feeling,what love really stand for?A sleep less night for me,the mind have a lot of unknown question again about love,i lost my way about what love really stand for after my ear had hear some of my friend love story,a disapointed ending when the hope given by the god and taken away by god, what the god are actually think of, or god are trying give us some lesson thru the pain to know better about love?yes..i hope so and wishing here.

2012 of Nicson Esmund Ko

'2012 of Nicson Esmund Ko',its been a long time that i never be here, reason?a lot people are asking why i did't not be here anymore since my last post, when time to time, time is running too fast then what i have expect the time have go too fast then my speed, another character from last time here, yes~i am change, good or bad?i think both but not only me, we should say it happen to all human, if you not agree with?unless you are unknown? For me good or bad doest be a problem anymore because we cant even guess up what a human really think of behind of thier mask, sound scary?yes, human are actually scary although, the newly me are trying to start learning to be open option, option stand for what?it stand for anything no matter in what way, if you follow the way you feel better then before, trust me and urself go forward better then guessing over there and think it so complicated, i meet quite some people since lastime til now, that is different category of them, different attitude,thinking,generation, or even more?i gain some lesson and learn some leasson from them, painful?yes,i did.after pretty well, its common for me as we should known that human are actually born to be selfish, a friend tell me a short story before that god give a job for the angels to searching pure good human in this world,after the million of year, angel back to heaven with no one else, god get curious why?angel tell god that is no pure good person unless that is new born baby, god smile and say yes .the end~you know why? think urself..

LOVE2011

'LOVE2011',love dont come easy but it go easy,love stand for sharing caring loving,a step of it, before this i believe that will have true love, but now i start to change my mind, because a true love dont come easy, hard to maintain it well, even how much of the couple love each others, its not enough, i learn something from it that loving is not enough, there need some sharing and caring, how u care of,how much you willing share with even what food we have for our breakfast, it may just a small matter but it means a lot to each other, love is a example of food, such like a package which is inclu with breakfast lunch and dinner even supper, supper is a extra mark in depends how u going to make each others happy, true love seem so far to me now, i cant even see any, love is not that easy same like fairy tales story, story always tell the fake, if there is a true love, just 20% of true love will have, the others is inclu me, i am affraid to touch it now, its make me feel unbeliever, i am tired and i need to be alone now.=(

NEVER KNOW

'NEVER KNOW',life is curious,curious as we are human,never know where human from never know what human think of,we will never know course we not the god,god are the one who watching us,and god give us love,but sometimes love give us the sweet memory and also hurt,i don't even know who am i really are,what kind of ppl is me now?there is a lot of unknown in my mind refresh and refresh and we should't know the anwser.My mind was like a dictionary there is million of question and i am trying to checking out from it,same thing i was in the morning again now,writing the blog and talk about my life and my unknow question,the distance of the shadow btw me is so far away since from last time the nearest to now, i can't watch though of my shadow clearly,look at outside from the window night to morning,from darkness to brightness,and i just hope one day i can be the brightness one and away from darkness,i am waiting and excited...what is the next of the story of mine again?curious and never know, can't guess up can't catch up.

crazy in the mid night 4.52am

''Crazy in the mid night 4.52am'',As usual i wanted to complain here about my life,life is having a lot of step to walk though,life can be simple and also complicated.For me i am more to complicated,if u ask how complicated am i,i will anwser my life is suck very very the suck,why?you ask me why?i wanted to give up but everytime my mind keep remind myself i got to be strong,but we are juat a human,we still need to rest to get more strong,and no why just because i am not the hero super man,when is the day?if you ask me why.better you ask the god why,no why no reason.The god was playing us such like a game,the god control us and plan for us everything in our life.Hey fucking god,who you think you are?i does't need you help me to plan,thank you so much.that is my life,you hear that?=)

the dream

'The dream',i never sleep since yesterday until this early morning.The reason why i can't sleep is because the same thing i worry about my future.Although i dunno what will be happen on me in the future but i would like to think 'HOW' can i change my life my future?It may just a dream in this moment but if i never think about it,i believe i will never have chance to geting a better life.dunno why the way to the destination is so far away and no matter how fast i trying to run i still can't reach it.i am tired but i keep telling myself that i got to do it,because it;s just my only hope and chances.it's been long time i never wrote blog,i remember i have write a blog lastime about why am i write blog because i felt better after say it out all of my secret and the pain.my health seem worse and worse,but i hope before i getting worse i can do it 'geting better life',so i will stay stronger facing to the sickness and fight with it alone.I BELIEVE MY LUCK WILL BE COMING SOON ONE DAY...WATCH UPS~ =)

what love mean

''what love mean?'',do you really know and understand the meaning of the love.It's mean complicated.I've learned a thing or two about love,it's push and shove,giving and giving in,giving up give,give,give but nothing's given.Three word to describe love is contradictions,constant attraction and distraction love.love hiding behind contraception deception,a radio without reception miscommunication and misconception.Conception of a life too early for light but just ripe for death.the depth of eyes.the windows to souls shattered into tears.love mean of the distance between me and you measured by lies and truths.love mean hurt and tired.i am tired deeply.I hope every things just a dream and it's gone after i wake up.love is a things that we can't guess up.

In the early morning

''In the early morning''i haven't sleep since yerterday.i have a lot question in my mind.i was worrying about my future,my healthy been more worse and worse now.I am still young now but does't mean that i am affraid about the dead,it's because i havent done a lot things yet.I wanted to take care of my mother and wait till my siblings having a sweet home before i go.If i really go in the second,i will like to tell 'you' i missing you all the time,and i know from we are together,in my mind i given myself a promise you ll be the one share my sadness and happyness.I will love you forever and with you no matter what.Everytime when you calling me maybe the way i talk is bad but i am happy when i see ur call.beside that,i was think human life is just simple,a human is waiting to pass the time from a second,minutes,hours and days till the end.every body got the chance to say bye to others to end of thier life.life is just shorten,still waiting for what,do somethings that is proud of urself,such like say i love you to ur lover or even ur parents,its may just a sentence but it will make the person remember you,not need to think,do it right now,still waiting the durian drop?YA!THE LIFE IS SHORTEN as the time u wait for durian drop.if you see this post,go online and hear song ''its too late to apologize''the song describe what i am trying to tell.bye~those is just my question.i have really do it but how about you?=)